Posts Tagged ‘Internet Dating’

Where did I leave off yesterday? Oh yeah, the mummies not thinking my future happiness was worth a 2 hour round trip. Not cool. Anyway, I started looking at some google images whilst creating my online dating profile, and discovered that, although I stick to my guns and say I’m not choosy, and I’m definitely not shallow, it turns out I have a type: I like ’em hairy!

I found myself drawn to mini lion lops, with their gorgeous face-shape reminiscent of my own, and their laissez-faire attitude to trimming. I told Mummy J, and she got on the job right away, trying to find me a fluffy companion. As luck would have it, there was a breeder with baby girls who would have been ready to go in a week in our area! I was bursting with excitement, and wasn’t sure how I would manage to wait a whole 7 days, but Mummy El said she’d waited for 26 years for Mummy J, so a week’s nothing when you’re looking at a lifetime of happiness.

Mummy J began emailing the breeder, and that’s where it all fell apart. The exchange was so bizarre you couldn’t have scripted it, and it would have been funny if it hadn’t been my heart and my future on the line. Every time Mummy J asked the lady a question she would give a completely random answer, totally unrelated to what was asked! Mummy asked her 3 times if she and Mummy El could come and visit the girls, and eventually she got a 3 word reply (with no punctuation, I might add) “yes of course”. Mummy asked if they could go the next day, and we’re still waiting for her reply now!

After waiting all of Monday evening and Tuesday morning to hear back, Mummy J looked again to see if there were any more lovely ladies for me, and guess what – she found some! And, they were old enough to come home with us right then!

Mummy El phoned the breeder and it just got better and better; they only lived 5 minutes away, we could go and see them that evening, and when I say “we”, I mean we! I could come too! So, my internet date turned into a speed date as I was introduced to the 4 most beautiful girls I have ever seen. Our eyes met, we touched noses, I acted aloof (it’s a rabbit thing), it was all perfect. There were 2 brunettes, a grey and a platinum blonde to choose from, but I just couldn’t decide. I mean, how to you break 3 girls’ hearts? Seeing and meeting me like that, then not being chosen and spending the rest of their lives dwelling on what they could have had, knowing they’ve missed out on a life with me… I couldn’t bear that on my conscience. So I told Mummy El to decide. And she told Mummy J to decide.

I said bye bye to the girls and went back into my carrier; I thought they’d never make a decision, it seemed like forever until I was being popped into the car, and it felt like they were driving home via Scotland – the tension was killing me, I couldn’t wait to see who they’d chosen for me!

I’m pretty sure you’re as excited to see her as I was, so without further ado, may I introduce to you, my beautiful lady love.

My platinum blonde ball of hairy love

My platinum blonde ball of hairy love

Told you she was gorgeous! We’re like the Brad and Angelina of bunnies, except I’m a bit better looking than Brad, obviously. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should go and do something gentlemanly…


Read Full Post »

Remember I told you yesterday that my mummies have been trying to find me a girlfriend? Well, I was keeping a little secret! She was already here! I wanted to keep her to myself for a bit before I introduced her to the world though. Jillian Michaels isn’t often wrong and that hot, muscled mumma was right again: state your intentions to the world, open your heart, and take action, and whatever you want can be yours. And she is – she’s mine, all mine!

Jillian was right about something else too; if it’s really worth having it won’t come easy, but you have to keep going and surmount any and all obstacles. Luckily, I’m a natural athlete and particularly talented hurdler, so I laugh in the face of obstacles. I couldn’t have asked for a better result, she’s a real beauty, and was worth the search.

At first my mummies thought that maybe I would like a lady my own age since we should have some shared experiences, a similar outlook on life and plenty in common, but they couldn’t find one. Like I said, I didn’t mind if she was big or small feet, big or small ears, whether they stood up or were lopped, whether she haf long or short hair or what colour she is, as long as she was pretty (aren’t they all?) and petite so our love didn’t end in tragedy and broken ribs.

The problem they were having was finding a lady small enough for me. They went to our local shelter at the weekend because we all thought it would be nice to give a grown up bunny who needed one a nice home, but Mummy El said that they weren’t just big, they were huuuuuuuge! Then they looked online at other bunny rescues in our area, and they only had big girls too. I suppose it’s good that Netherlands Dwarfs like me, and Mini Lops seem to find good and loving forever homes, but I feel sad for all the other kinds of bunnies.

When their search came to a dead-end they asked me how I felt about younger women, and I told them that, of course, I was well up for that! Baby bunnies direct from a breeder it was!

They decided internet dating was the way to go and found me a sexy lady online who wasn’t too far away from here, so they called her temporary mum right away. Devastated. Someone else had got in there already, and my first potential girlfriend was being picked up by someone else that afternoon. She was gorgeous too – pale grey and very fluffy. C’est la vie, she’s missed out.

They found me a couple more cuties but they were a tad young for me at the time. They were maturing fast though, and could have come to live with us in 2 weeks – 2 weeks is a long time in bunny years, so I wouldn’t have felt like too much of a hay-cradle snatcher. The thing is, they were about an hour away by car, which the mummies said was too far. I say that nowhere is too far to go in the quest for true love. I would go to the ends of the Earth for my lady love, so I think the least they could’ve done was go to Marchwood! This from the people who went to York for the smelly puppy!

Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you about how I met my girl, and if you’re lucky I might even show you a picture!

Read Full Post »

So, I’ve been thinking; maybe I need a woman in my life. Actually, I think a woman needs me in her life. Having this many incredible qualities and no-one to share them with is just a waste. She’s going to be a very lucky doe, whoever she is.

I’ve been happy as a bachelor so far, but there comes a time in a bunny’s life when he needs to think about his future and start to settle down. It’d be nice to have a little lady to snuggle up to at night and share my nuggets with.

I’ve got a lot to offer the right girl, and I mean a lot. First of all, look at me. Have you ever seen a rabbit this good looking? Probably not. That should be enough on its own, but I’ve got charisma in spades, an amazing sense of humour and serious career prospects, what with my job as a shredder, my work as a freelance electrician and, of course, the modelling – have I mentioned what a looker I am?

I'm sexy and I know it.

I’m sexy and I know it.

As far as lifestyle is concerned, a bunny couldn’t ask for better. I live in a lovely cosy bedroom with my mummies (the puppy barks and trumps a bit, but he’s all right), I dine on only the best nuggets, there’s a constant supply of hay, and I get fresh fruit and veg every day. I’ve got loads of room to roam and have the run of our upstairs; there are a bunch of great places I’ve made my burrows, like under the telly and the guitar stands, and I’ve got a cracking run to stretch my legs and nibble grass in when the weather’s nice. I’ve got a cage with a view, which has served me well as a bachelor pad, but now I’m rattling around in that big old hutch, and I’m thinking it’s time to make it a cosy home for two.

The view of the from my hutch

The view of the from my hutch

I’m not too choosy, I’d be equally happy with a lady who was black, brown, white, striped, dotty, whatever! The only thing I ask is that she’s petite, not because I’m shallow, but because I’m only a kilo and I don’t want to be squashed in a cuddle gone bad. I’m an equal opportunities lover.

Obviously, my mummies have devastatingly good taste in bunnies as they chose me, so I’ve been leaving most of the search up to them. I’m keeping it under my hat, but I’m quite looking forward to having a warm, fluffy little body to share my cage and my life with.

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: